Tuesday, September 25, 2012

To goal or not to goal?

In my search for usable ideas for my Family Planning Binder, I came across a free printable, "Our Family's Five Year Plan & Dreams".  I don't work well with long-term goals.  I either expect to remember them so I don't write them down, or pull them off the seat of my pants, make them too attainable or unattainable.  I cringe at the thought of sharing my goals, so to sit down with hubby and tell him my long-term dreams was completely new to me.

The sheet itself was fairly simple.  It had five categories, Everyday, Wealth, Wellness, Home, and Fun and you were to write your goals for 1 year, 3 years, 5 years and a "Dream Big" section.  Some were easy, things we had been discussing on and off, while others we really had to put thought into.  We were completely lost on the "Wellness" section.  We both want to be healthier, especially both having lost our mothers way too young.  We want to quit smoking, lose weight.  But a three-year plan?  I don't plan to run any marathons.  Ever.  It became easier when I added our spiritual wellness to that section.  Definitely want to spend regular time in prayer, in Bible study, get active in church.  The Everyday section was a little tough, too.  What do I want to be doing every day in the next year, three years, five years?  IDK, but I would like to try super-couponing.

Goal planning brings up ideas like empty-nest, college funds, retirement, mortality.  It feels strange to be an "older" parent, there are so many more things to consider, like, will I be in good enough shape to play catch?  When Rick brought up a five-year goal of getting a hot tub, I had to nix it because I will most likely be going through menopause and having hot flashes by then.  But there are good things about being an older parent, Rick is well on his career-path.  I still consider myself new to the SAHM business, but I've been a mommy for almost 17 years.  And, while I'm just learning to cook and clean, having the babies so close together I've got our routine down, diapers, feedings, naptimes.  

I guess the whole "accountability" aspect is what gets to me most.  If you write it down or even share your ideas out loud, there is the possibility of disappointment if your goals are not met.  It will take a lot of discipline for most of our goals, something neither of us have had much practice in, and now we get to hold each other accountable (don't forget Honey, we have a five-year-plan of going to Disney!)  Homeschooling once seemed so far away and now Aidan and Gavin are one year away from pre-school!  I never shared my fear of the younger years of homeschooling with Rick until tonight.  Arts and crafts were never my strong suit, and keeping three toddlers occupied enough to not eat the paste terrifies the pants off of me.  Give me apples to count or phonics to teach and I'm great!  

Overall, I think our goals are pretty realistic and attainable, while still challenging us to grow and mature to keep them.  It was nice sitting down together and realizing the possibilities we have with some effort.  We learned some new things about each other, like me wanting a bigger car even though I vehemently protested anything bigger when we got the minivan, or him detesting me using roman numerals to abbreviate thousands (I should write $1k instead of $1M because that is what normal people use).  

What are some of your long-term goals?

Monday, September 24, 2012

NickMom TV Shows Official Site

NickMom TV Shows Official Site

I'm so excited for the new NickMom starting October 1st!  I don't really know why, exactly.  But I'll get to watch this

and this

and I don't know who these people are but its mommy-related

I haven't watched TV since being on bedrest for practically two years, so I may have to DVR it and watch bits and pieces.  Does this mean I'm getting old?

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

How do you measure the unmeasurable?

Any stay at home mommy understands what I mean. How do you know you are doing it right? How do you know you are successful? Is your house spotless, children well-behaved, husband fed, causes volunteered for, church is attended? Well, yes. Is it possible to have ALL of those things. I suppose (not that I would know). I've been striving to feel successful at something, ANYTHING. Parties thrown, birthday cards sent, babies bathed (and that is a major accomplishment). Work at home business ventures that aren't panning out, family planning binder that turns out to be too full or not enough. How is it that my chores for the day are not only done, but I'm a day ahead, and nowhere did it say to pick up all of the toys strewn about the livingroom? I have a husband unhappy that I didn't have time for him on the few minutes he has from work to check in. But, there were chores to be done? I'm contemplating these things lately, and I'm realizing that it is happening. I'm vacuuming before one of many therapists for the babies arrive, wondering, how can I be successful? I'm feeding the babies, I'm cleaning the refrigerator (which is on tomorrow's chore list), I'm starting beef stew in the crock pot (which, trust me, cooking comes once in a blue moon for me). I played with the babies, had snuggle time with Isaac, read my daily devotions and started a weekly devotion I'm doing in a (very) small online group.

Maybe instead of lists of things to do we should have lists of things we are doing.

 Not that I don't need a reminder to dust the furniture that I never seem to notice or clean out my purse that I never think about until I'm at the check out not able to even find my wallet in there. How about an "or" list. Is your house clean today OR did you spend quality time with the kids OR did you make a nutritious meal for the family OR did you spend time with God? The top of each day in my binder should be the questions, are your kids happy, clean and safe? Is your husband provided for? Did you nourish your soul today? That is the measuring stick I want. And while this epiphany does calm and inspire me, I may need a gentle reminder once in awhile. 

As I typed that last sentence, Gavin just peeked around the couch and smiled the most heart-melting smile. That is just the reminder I'll need!

Friday, September 14, 2012