Monday, October 13, 2014

Socialite or Introvert?

As I'm putting the second load of laundry in at 9:45pm tonight, I'm imagining all the fun my husband is having on his business trip to Seattle.  Looking back on my evening of putting three kids to bed, applying ointment to the dog's infected ear, paying bills, two loads of laundry, and avoiding piles of toys to trip on in the family room, I turn bitter to the dinner he's having, the jokes he's laughing at, the drinks I wish I had.  At least he got out of all this crap the last few days.  

But then it occurs to me.  

Having stayed home for the last four years, I've become quite hermitlike.  What would I say at a dinner party?  Would I even figure out when I was supposed to laugh?  All day today I have been devising plans on how to cancel my play date party I have scheduled next week simply because I've become so antisocial.  Let's see, menu plan or fake an illness?  Nothing against the mothers invited, I love them all and they have wonderful children!  I have just become so accustomed to my reclusive lifestyle.  After the first day of potty training three little ones today, I keep replaying in my head my explanation of training pants.

"When you have to go peepee, you have to take off your big boy pants and go on the potty.  Do you have to go peepee?"

 No, I will take my shorts, flip flops, and whatever you call this ponytail/bun and sit on my cushioned dining room chair while I write to my "peeps" as you entertain vice presidents and HR directors.  

I will, however, enjoy a glass of wine or three now that the boys are in bed ;)

Thursday, May 1, 2014

All That I Do

I recently read something on The Busy Mom Blog that really struck me.
"I do not need to strive to have the perfect family.  I just need to strive to glorify God in all that I do and encourage my children to do the same.  God's grace takes our failures, forgives us, teaches us, and uses them for His purpose and glory."

I just finished lunch and so far my day has consisted of temper tantrums, too many cookies and way too much Facebook!  Do I glorify God in all that I do?   My chore list is long and patience is thin.  This gloomy weather is only making our attitudes poorer.  I need to clean the kitchen before I get dinner in the slow cooker, pick up every single toy we own before I can vacuum and wash the floors, and I'm two days behind on my Bible study.  I woke in a good mood this morning, with a good outlook for my day, but the meltdowns and couch cushions on the floor have worn me down.  I've been avoiding all that I need to do (busy reading blogs) and as I was reading, my conscience whispered to me, "is this what you call glorifying God?"  

No.  No it's not.

It is pushing up my shirtsleeves and doing dishes, making nutritious meals for my family, spending time with them and making them happy.  Tackling my to do list and do this without grumbling.  You glorify the Lord in all the big things, and all the small.  Praising God through the storms, happy or sad.  It is doing your very best in everything you do.  Sometimes you pass, sometimes you fail, but ultimately, it is what is in your heart that glorifies God!

How will you glorify the Lord today?

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Consider the Angels

I don't think of angels very much.  I know that people do, it's just a subject that has never peaked my curiosity.  Today, in my devotions, I read the story of Elisha's servant in 2 Kings 6:8-23.  The king of Aram sent his army to capture Elisha because he helped Israel avoid Aram's army.  When Elisha's servant awoke in the morning and saw Aram's army surrounding the city, Elisha prayed for God to open up the servant's eyes to see God's army of angels protecting them.
"And Elisha prayed, 'O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.'  Then the Lord opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."
 Have you ever considered, as you leave your house for the day, that God has an army of angels surrounding you on your journey?  How does your view of God change knowing he has an army protecting you?  

Dear Lord, thank you for your protection as I sleep, as I wake.  Watch over my family as they start their days and keep them safe always.  Your love is amazing, thank you for showing me this verse and giving me the realization of all that you do for me without me even being aware!  In Jesus name, Amen.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Keep Your Eyes on Jesus

Talking to a sweet friend of mine who is entering her third trimester while trying to get her 19-month old to sleep in her own bed and giving my tips to getting rest at night and throughout the day.  Never did I ever think I would be one to give advice, I came upon this verse:

"We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame.  Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne."
-Hebrews 12:2
The cross has two sides to everything:  a crucifixion side and a resurrection side.  Jesus had to endure one side to get to the other.  Maybe your trials don't have the magnitude of the burden of the cross, but Jesus knew the joy that was before Him and persevered until the end.  With this in mind, we can look at our own burdens and see there will be an end, we will persevere!  Keep your eyes on Jesus, remind yourself of the resurrection that came about through the suffering he endured.  

What burden can I pray for you today?  He is gracious and will see you through!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Full Hands

As many of you know, we have five kids, the youngest are ages 1, 2 and 3.  My day starts typically at 6am (unless we oversleep), getting hubby's lunch ready, his morning tea, my coffee, and start my devotionals.  This is usually where the babies wake up!  I do four smaller devotionals and read a few chapters of the Bible and save my in depth study for when the babies go to bed at night so that I can concentrate more fully.  Mornings are diapers and toast, feeding the dog, and relaxing (thankfully!)  I split up my chores on different days that I keep written in my planner.  If it's not written down, chances are I won't remember to do it!  I will instant message with my husband during the day, as he has time, send him pictures or videos of the things the kids get into.  I am in a group chat throughout the day with a wonderful group of Christian ladies, there is a lot of laughs, a lot of encouragement and a lot of prayer.  So thankful for them!  There is lunch time and (many, many) snack times, therapies on different days, babysitter for errands occasionally.  Papa is kind enough to make quick runs to the grocery store if I need him to, and he has a great excuse to come and visit with the babies.  They eat dinner early because of their sleep schedule, so I'm making two dinners, they eat before I pick up hubby from the train station and we sit down together after they go to bed at 7 with a lengthy bedtime routine.  Laundry, showers and husband and wife time are reserved for after they go to bed.  

So what is left?  There is my husband's kiss goodbye in the morning, picturing him reading the note on his napkin at lunchtime, baby hugs and kisses, watching them laugh together and run around the house.  Text messages from my older boys who occasionally take time out of their day to say hi.  New words and phrases that the babies come up with daily.  An email or video from a far away friend whom I miss every day.  There are the messages I get from God, reading his word or praying as I wash dishes, always reminding me that I'm serving my family with every mess that I clean up.  For a SAHM who doesn't get to leave the house often, I am always thinking ahead on what I can do in my home to make things easier for them.  My heart is filled with these treasured moments, hoping that they will always remain with me, documenting as much as I can for the future.  As you get down, thinking about how full your hands are, be thankful for what remains in your heart, treasures that could never be bought or replaced!

Friday, March 14, 2014

The scent of memories

Two babies are sleeping, one is resting.  Windows are open for the first time this year and I have lavender oil in the effusion lamp.  It brings to my mind the scent of my mom in the nursing home.  She was 52 and dying from pancreatic cancer.  Her best friend, Carol, had brought her the lamp when she was at my aunt's house on hospice, with the lavender oil, and for the past seven years I haven't been able to bring myself to put any other scent into it. I'd spent an hour, frantically searching for the exact brand, the exact scent that had been my mom's.   

So I sit back with my coffee, feel the breeze, and picture her while I paint her nails, which never grew for her before.  She sits in her hospital bed with low pig tails under her pink checkered blanket that my coworkers bought for her.  She doesn't know what is going on most of the time, but she loves having us all there.   She smiles more than she could ever force herself to before.  We alternate visiting her, my aunt, my dad and I.  I've brought Gary and Benny a few times, but it's getting harder for them to see her like this.  She is not in the kind of pain that she had been the last ten years or so of her life.  Yes, we are thankful for that.  Thankful that she doesn't have the fear of the nursing home like she did when the topic had been brought up.  I almost forgot about pretending to light her cigarettes because she would fall asleep in the middle of smoking.  Almost forgot about finding her in the dining room asleep at the table during a meal.  Sometimes I don't want to remember.  But I have to.  Usually, my husband will light the lamp for me, and I will just smile, "that's my mom's."  

Today is different.  

It's not making me sad, just remember.  Honestly, I think what I'm remembering is the relief I felt when it was over.  I was so thankful for the nine additional months she got than 2-3 weeks she was given when the cancer was found.  Thankful that my work would let me come in late so that I could visit her at my aunt's house every morning.  These aren't my only memories of the end, but the rest are too gross, or too personal or too heartbreaking to share.  But the pain is over, the fear is over.  My babies anticipating her death, just waiting, is over.  Watching her body deteriorate is over.  

I would give anything to have her meet her three newest grandsons, to see how Gary and Benny have grown, meet my husband, to taste my cooking!  But that's not for today.  Today is the relief that her hurt is gone.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014


Every morning we wake up while it is still dark to get my husband ready for work.  Every morning I look forward to opening the curtains and blinds when the sun rises and turning the lights back off.  I am very content with this season of life.  But it hasn't always been this way.  We've been through trials, loss and worry.  I have pages in my journal of my cries to the Lord.  Sometimes I look back, and wonder how I made it.  But if I didn't look to the One who saves, I wouldn't be able to enjoy this time in my life.  My life is not perfect, sometimes I get so frustrated I want to cry, or overwhelmed with housework and babies crying that I can't think straight.  

But then God will give me a reminder like this one.  I have people I love, I have everything I need.  I have Him.  I have a place I can always look to for refuge.  I know the God who saves.  Whenever I feel I'm drowning, He will pull me up and out of my storm.  

I've been challenged to start a gratitude journal, write five things I am grateful for every morning, whether it be family or friends, or even the sunrise.  Today I am most grateful to have God in my life, who I can go to any time of the day with any prayer or petition.  He always listens, always answers our prayers.  What are you most grateful for today?